This is amazing
This is amazing
"My son has been suspended five times. He’s 3."
I blamed myself, my past. And I would have continued to blame myself had I not taken the boys to a birthday party for one of JJ’s classmates. At the party, the mothers congregated to talk about everyday parenting things, including preschool. As we talked, I admitted that JJ had been suspended three times. All of the mothers were shocked at the news.
“JJ?” one mother asked.
“My son threw something at a kid on purpose and the kid had to be rushed to the hospital,” another parent said. “All I got was a phone call.”
One after another, white mothers confessed the trouble their children had gotten into. Some of the behavior was similar to JJ’s; some was much worse.
Most startling: None of their children had been suspended.
May they be forever alone for their elitist douche-baggery.
I was recently interviewing the woman who founded Her Universe and we were talking specifically about women and geekdom. I asked about the rise of girls in geek culture and she very accurately corrected me: There is no “rise” of geek girls. We’ve always been here. Girls are just as nerdy as dudes are. Ladies have always been interested in sci fi and fantasy and video games - we just don’t talk about it a lot because men are assholes.
The fact that the ALA shared this link is so gloriously bitter and angry and I love it.
Is there a portmanteau for that? Angritter? Bangry?
My library card already gets me multiple “real” books, e-books, audiobooks, magazines and movies per month. For free.
Kindle Unlimited offers nothing from big presses, and no guarantee the authors will get paid fairly for their work. Libraries buy the book up front for a higher price (and a better binding). Kindle Unlimited offers the authors a variable percentage of a as-yet-undetermined-and-unannounced amount of money.
While Amazon touts Kindle Unlimited at “Netflix For Books!” the reality is Netflix signed contracts with everyone whose work they offer so that actors, screen writers, best boys, and the rest of those people get paid for the shows and movies you watch. Amazon does not.
That means your favorite author isn’t being compensated for their time or work. If you love a book series and want to see the next one get published: buy the book or hit the library. Starving authors quit writing because they like eating.
Not only is your favorite author not being compensated for their work, but the editors who help shape your favorite author’s work, the marketing departments who work really, incredibly hard at getting the word out for their authors (in an increasingly glutted marketplace and often, in smaller and mid-sized houses, with low budgets), the designers who create beautiful covers and carefully lay out the interiors of your favorite books so that you can read them easily, etc etc also all lose out when Amazon strong arms publishers into giving them huge discounts that can—and have!—put small publishers (particularly vulnerable ones like LGBTQ and feminist presses) completely out of business.
I really, really encourage everyone to do the following two things:
1) Order books from Powell’s, not Amazon. I bought Edan Lepucki’s “California” from them, and they offer flat $4.95 shipping on orders under $50, and free shipping on orders over $50. They have used and new books and they offer discounts on big sellers. The prices aren’t AS low as Amazon but they’re comparable. I know it’s impossible to completely eliminate buying things on Amazon, but at least try a little bit.
2) Check out your local library. I lived in LA for about 6 years before checking out the LA Public Library System. I was a fool! Now I get ebooks on my Kindle without ever having to go to the library. (pssst - If you don’t finish the book in the three weeks you have it on loan, turn off your Kindle’s wifi and it won’t go away.) I pick up physical books at the location less than a mile from me. I get audiobooks for long drives. I still buy physical books that I want to have for more than three weeks, but for most of my reading, the library is the way to go. If you’re cynical, think of it as getting a better return on investment from your tax dollars.
THAT THEY’RE NOT TRYING
BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW IF THEY’RE TRYING OR NOT
JUST BECAUSE IT DOESN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT TRYING
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
- Stay with us and keep calm.
The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.
- Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.
- Move us to a quiet place.
We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.
- Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.
- Speak to us in short, simple sentences.
- Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
- Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
As odd as it sounds, it works.WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:
1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.
Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.
Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”
2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”
Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.
Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.
3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.
Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.
4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.
The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.
Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.
"n-no guys look we’re cool. look a woman! thats cool right, thats what you guys wanted right? she isnt playable and this is just a cg trailer but we’re good now right? please buy our game"
The dad cat liked to hang out in the sink by himself
AND THEN THE KITTENS FOUND HIM
HE LOOKS SO ANNOYED
I DIDN’T SIGN ON FOR THIS SHIT.
it literally can not get cuter than this
I will always reblog Angry Dad Cat
Glass Blower: Sculpting A Horse From Molten Glass
#this bitch just said let there be horse and there was
The Legend of Zelda : Feather Time.
Join this new epic adventure introducing pigeon Link !
… Well I wanted to create an epic legend …. with birds ^p^” !